A Mid life Scourge


Sometimes I take life to be a channel filled with melancholic occurrences drawing strong public criticism, hard to understand, harder to forget. I do not mean a physical war with homo sapiens, nor do i mean peace with the same. At times, life pushes me to extreme conditions where i am left suffocated and scourged for no fault of mine. Its that gruelling struggle for survival that helps vanish the nauseating barricade life has put before me with unceasing interest, enjoying every minute of it, that's it. Its time for a change. How long does it take for one to get tired of being tired? The question remains tough to be answered in the literary sense. After lying submerged in the depths of failure for a long time, i reckon its time i reclaim the reins of my life. The path ahead is like a bed of thorns, unavoidable sufferance guaranteed. Torn and shred to pieces, i pick my battered soul and start my provocative retreat through these isles of excruciating pain without a whimper. I walk with heavy thuds yet let no noise be heard. Where is the camaraderie the untruthful tribes of the world showcased? Even as the beads of sweat pour down my mortalised form, lie suffocating, trying to get a new lease on life, the voices of a thousand ancestors thunder in me, whetting my thirst to drain out the taste of defeat that proves an impediment to my emotional quest further. I shan't take an interval of rest even if my blood desires so in times of weariness. I wont let go until the sweet smell of victory hits my nostrils and challenges me to lie on a bed strewn with petals myriad in colour. Finally my head hits the pillow of the dream envisaged and the varied sacrifices have borne fruit. The mystic road less taken has ended. A new sequel has begun.

Fuming Fragrance


The lights are out, the door is shut. All that can be heard is the creaking sound of an old ceiling fan yodeling away its routine cocktail of tunes. Except for a restless soul dwindling in strength, fighting the nuances in life, everything is mellowing into the charms of the night. Engulfed in the colour of darkness and bound by walls of ego, I’m shut tight in a room; I still find no reason as to why I should be. My mind conveys feeble solutions but my soul doesn’t seem to quite fraternize the need of the hour. I’m lost yet to be found. That’s the chant my very existence on earth reveals. I turn a mild left and shut my eyes tighter pressing hard on my pupils. Recumbent, I recover from the random murky bouts of mockery the very household I live with has put me through. This time there burns a candle, a soul in sight never flickering, never abstaining. Between the heights at which the holiest of the heavens stand to the depths of the earth where the darkest of secrets lie buried, I never have experienced such sweet constant flow of love cordoning dastardly inflicted pain. The feeling of having someone to cry for you when you’re sad is far more an earthly feeling. Even more when there’s someone to feel for you and respect your varying emotions, I claim it heavenly. The very thought of a soul longing to be mine following me where ever I go is enough to regenerate the spirit in me taking me miles forward to eternal warmth of love. My aim and reason of existence of life, balances on the tip of this undying flame. Without this unbundling synonym of life I’m nothing and I move no where.

Indian Blues





Caught in the tenacious grasps of laziness and provoked by the enchanting world of sleep, my vacation life was kind of dedicated entirely to the bed, sleeping for a whooping 16 hours with no hypnophobia related syndromes, helping me miss out on a lot this summer had in the offing. Well that didn’t last for long as something as mysterious and as ridiculous as how life could get caught me right in the sleepy eye. The above cutting from a popular Indian daily and the video captured with an ordinary Indian mo0bile phone you have just seen on this Indian blog, blogged by an anglo indian may have left you frozen if you were an Indian citizen brimming with patriotism. If i’m not wrong and if there is no political obsruction in my sense of free thinking, i can pick up various instances on seeing the Indian flag being misused on different occasions, leave alone the master blaster Sachin Tendulkar feat but also actions by other personalities, even the so called khakee clad policemen of Kerala or even the starchy white khadee clad politicians of God’s own country. I rake my brains and find no fuelling reason as to why Sachin tenders an apology. The situation prevailing found team india in the jaws of defeat in the world cup at the time of happening but seriously what if India had won the world cup? Believe me... No such accusations would have existed today and the column that engrossed wide criticism would have ensured praise for the Indian cricket team. Now let me give you a bit of certain comparison between what Sachin did and what the corporation workers did as seen in the video. Sachin cut the cake he was asked to cut in a ceremony that happened outside India. It is absolutely clear in every sense that Sachin’s part was only the ceremonious cutting of the cake not the ordering of the cake to be made in the shape and colour of the Indian tricolour. The corporation workers ,on the other hand, carried out their assigned duty of clearing garbage from houses under the jurisdiction of the corporation. Happened to be that the garbage that is normally disposed in polyethene bags got wrapped up in the Indian tricolour. Ask me why and i should say , the household ran out of plastic bags due to the ban on polyethene carry bags and ended up wrapping the garbge in the pride of our nation - The Tricolour. Maybe the household will get a new one later!

Gloomy Glimpses




Flipping through the pages of my near past, I stumble upon vague memories imprinted in my mind by a scene so pleasant in its heavenly form that I would cherish its happening over and over again. I don’t mean angels singing or playing their harps nor do I intend having experienced any immortal encounter. The entire event from its beginning to its end, from its zenith to its natural dilution created in me an awe for the people involved. Well this is how it all started.
Standing under a shady tree, waiting for conveyance to get me to my proposed destination, my inquisitive eyes eagerly scrutinizes the surrounding layer of the majestically huge world spread forth in front of me. Everything looked good and everything was at its best. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, the breeze was warm and fast flowing, leaves were falling and earthlings were busy with earthly chores. A firm grip by a warm hand cut shorts my unassumed rendezvous with the nature boy in me and I fixed a deep artificial stare into the ruby eyes that kept looking into mine. The ghastly and meek figure of an old wretched woman and the bony clench on my arm was enough for me to understand the existence of poverty and misery befriended by sickness and hunger under that wrinkled face and shimmering eyes. A sudden child like instinct flowed into me like milky water falling from the highest falls, gushing through rocks below to continue on meaningful reasons for life to be sustained. With a twinkle in my eye and an echo of a whisper on my lip I thrust into her palm a coin, which I sensed, would have been of great value to her. A smile, a nod and then with heavy thuds she moved away, searching for solace in another passer by may be. Not recovered from what had happened I was trying to picturize the whole train of events again, when, from no where appears her better half, a lanky old man with crutches under his arm. He gets close to her, calls her by name and then with his bare hand wipes beads of perspiration off her forehead. What happened next was no flummery. With sadness in his eyes and concern in his voice he asked her not to stand in the hot blazing sun, a move that provoked a tear to roll down my cheek. After this impoverished family reunion both exchanged exhausted glances and then continued their life-sustaining disguise. My story concludes here but theirs just continues. It happened, I say, It happened.

Cantilevered Reminders



An inward urge to surpass and diminish the audible vile voices of pessimism imposed on finished and unfinished chapters in my life by the innumerable unscrupulous human elements is one big reason I engage myself on a personal errand with mother nature every time I need to recoup the battle haggard innocuous spirit in me. The long stretch of coconut and palm fringed beaches of Fort Cochin studded with historic souvenirs provides the perfect ambience for a sojourn journey away from materialistic life swelling like a beastly inferno waiting to reduce me to ashes. Squatting on granite rocks well positioned to form a sea wall reminding sand that they belong to where they lie now, I try recapitulating the super powers that once ruled this obscure fishing hamlet years ago. One by one they come to my mind: the Arabs, the Chinese, the Portuguese, the Dutch, the English. After a short stint in pondering over the leftovers by these mighty conquerors, somatic shadows of wooden giants summon me to take part in their daily unbalanced endeavours. Well if you are familiar with the shores of Fort Cochin, you've guessed it right. Yes, the Chinese Fishing nets, part and parcel of the historic remnants that these shores boast of. Each of these cantilevered fishing stalwarts are virtual reminders of the various hands that unleashed havoc after their original masters were forced out of this land. Even though subjects of menial labour and ambassadors of enigmatic diligence, they spread light gingerly with no gimmick, flooding into the mysterious mazes of my mind the need to slaughter forms of envy, jealousy and wretchedness by just being what i am. This tête-à-tête meeting sans petulance with these gentle giants in the lap of mother nature help me realise where I am, setting free the refugee in me. Just before the culmination of this eventful voyage, an intuition in me wants me to be an entrant to this shallow topsy turvy spectrum of varied entities.

Confessions of a Bleeding Heart


It's new year again. All frenzied and scourged on the sloping and rugged terrain of life, i walk down memory lane, knocking on doors and peeping through windows, trying to get a glimpse of my life, my past, my family. Faces i see and time spent in nonerroneous circumstances make me feel it was worth living those cherishable moments. Pondering on the mysterious and weird twists and turns in life, i deeply miss the scenic halts and episodes endured with my mom, brother and dad especially. Now that light is out. The top most branch of the tree has fallen, withered and disappeared leaving just the three of us- my mom, my brother and i with just meloncholic melodies of a song unfinished. Occasionally i try to put right the broken pieces of God's puzzle as to why He put us apart. Is He jealous or is He being rude in His worldy dealings? Coming back to my senses i recollect reality with mummy slogging in a foreign land trying to make both ends meet, my brother and me in a place far away from home and my dad taking his final rest under the clear blue sky with nature to keep him company. All scattered and broken hearted, like fish out of water we crave to get together, live together and leave together on the final journey not having a glimpse, nor messing around with earthly inequitities. The house i stay in and the people i am living with, rather putting up with are perspicuous examples of what this cunning and sly world could force upon a shattered heart. May be I am enduring the perinatel curses of the unseen negative force or may be the perforated prejudiced eyes of the ones who i deem the near and dear ones. But from the chasms of my lamentable heart i bask in the love of my family still langushing, reminding me who i am and what i am. The world is my own and so is my family.

On 18 - Here I am


The period in life when technology, fashion, amusement, nocturnal life takes the upper hand in helping you explode out of that silent, submissive, shy shell.... Where am I? Has this really got a hold on me?

Keep thinking why my peers sit glued to the N series mobiles doing what I know not. I proudly possess one of the oldest models of Nokia, a 1100, not forgetting its the best, fulfilling the basic necessities of speaking and messaging.Hayaboosa, Pulsar 180, Taurus etc seem to be the buzz word of all my pals backed up heavily with speed, skills, risk and adventure.Forget the bikes I'm not even the owner of a license. Being an athlete I feel honoured using my two muscular, sturdy legs chariotting me to the nearest farthest distance.

Gone are the days when teens used to wear formals and were considered well dressed. It's all reduced to Bermudas and capris referred by the locals as 'valli nikkaru'. Fashion today is more exposing than concealing. Wouldn't find a college hero without a boot cut pair of jeans, body fit transparent tee shirt and the latest pair of shoes off the shelves of the Adidas or the Nike showroom, trying his luck in cupids role. Having no girl friend is a crime and you appear to be an out cast among your friends and so I am with no regrets.

Bunking class and tucking themselves in their favourite hangouts such as theatres, parks and not to forget the famous marine drive are the amusement savvy youngsters trying to get a taste of what they ought not to. Preferably I would be strumming my guitar in my sweet home with a pot of tea to keep me company. For the 18's life isn't complete without nocturnal excitement with adrenalin rush at its zenith, reality being misted by the dim, smoky, mysterious disco lights. What other better way could I spend these heavenly hours than submitting myself to the realms of sleep, getting myself ready to take on tomorrow.

Say what you may, I am what I am., happy as happy can be.

Withered Reality


Isn't it awkward sitting in class, prisoned in cement walls, looking at the same old law professor lecturing on meaningless law lessons, when outside mother nature is at her wits end raining cats and dogs, giving the world a wetter and a seemingly monsoon attire? We students ought to be out, enjoying the pellet like drops falling from the heavens above amidst the chanting roar of the increasing and subsiding sound of its earthly rage rather than dozing on tables or even worse yawning non stop without even the required break.
The climate that was prevailing and the eloquent look of the mangroves swaying in the breeze along side the backwaters surrounding our college with migratory birds perched upon trees liberating their will for an off hand, timeless break from their routine endeavours was far more a subject for an artist's brush to put down on canvass for one and all to cherish. But then something was out of place, rather derogatory.
Forming a kind of dingy and unrealistic silhouette to that whole heavenly episode was a sight of drenched, haggard children fighting the cold and rain, carrying bricks and metal atop their petite and frail shoulders. This enigmatic situation in which those innocent souls were scarred sent spasms of pain down my mortal body dilating the thought of human selfishness that would soon devour this whole world. Thinking of whether the culprits of these atrocities would ever attain absolution, my eyes fall upon a ghastly, tender figure of a boy of around 8 years in tatters. Shovelling gravel into baskets, carrying it up and down numerous times quickly couldn't conceal the pain and trauma he was going through. If not in this painful situation, where else could he be? In an academic institution may be or on a football field playing enthusiastically having rules to defend him and peers to partake in his sorrow and happiness. The hypnotising effect of the once mellowing rain suddenly changes its adorable form and takes on earth as a ravaging monster. A big roaring bang from no where is heard and amidst the cries of human voices is seen a big column of smoke. Empirical evaluation and the flurry that followed revealed that a portion of the building collapsed in the obstinate weather trapping that 'small bundle of awe' I was observing closely. Denying myself further emotional roller coasters, I wiggle myself from the sight of water turned red flowing from under the collapsed building.
Construction of skyscrapers leading to the destruction of juvenile hearts- the irony prevails.....

A Loving Birthday Gift


Come November 30th and it's the birthday of my dear Principal. Apologies for the delay but your gift was ready way before.... hope you enjoy it......


On this wonderful beautiful day
Taking some time off from work and play
To you oh mam I ardently say
Many happy returns of the day.

Violet, pink, red, white and blue
Flowers weighing tons I shower on you.
Eloquent, enthusiastic, talented and all
Mam you're immensely walking tall.

Strength and good health may God give you
Being by your side in everything you do.
May happiness and knowledge pave way for you
To sow seeds of wisdom all life through.

Your inspiring and amiable nature has spruced up my life
And surely you'll be the best mentor for those yet to come.

Hippy Charlie

'Production curve, mass production, income and expenditure method, blah, blah,blah'...... To spice up my economics period nothing else better than penning down a few lines on my imaginery pal Charlie, the hippy! My heartfelt gratitude to my economics teacher.


Resistance to the opposite sex
Hippy Charlie learnt it from his Biology text
But females still kept devouring him
Guess it was hereditary to his family's brim.

Femmes with specks he loved to see
But sadly it was not a matter of glee
For everytime he got hooked on to one
He was ultimately left with a big bun.

Charlie took his grievance to his production committee
Sans a rendezvous with Indian publicity
But the final verdict by his mom and dad
Were, "Oh our desi son, we're very glad."

The morn saw him as a customer at the local beauty parlour
The evening heard him auction fish at the Cochin harbour
Sorry girls he keeps himself out of sight
For his face is a crow's delight.

Once while travelling in an auto-rickshaw
Charlie dreamnt he was the writer Bernard Shaw
He wrote short stories winning girls and glory
But awoke screaming when his auto hit an Indian pony.

Charlie tried with all his heart and never lost hope, did he?
For finally he met a girl-his wife to be
But not for long for Charlie burst; my darling, my love, my beautiful wife
Marrying you goofed up my life.

A living proof that man could live without a brain
Charlie was the last to know when it rained
Perhaps being fed up of life he took to cricket
But unfortunately lost his middle wicket.

Go according to the Indian tradition
Says Charlie, and marry your dad's decision
For Charlie now all alone on the islands of Munroe
With frying pan in hand eating fish roe.

Prejudiced Eyes


Emotions lying dormant in the heart not expressed in words, pave way to the slow demise of the satiating quest for redemption. Unwilling to murder my emotions and setting myself free from prejudice, i unfurl the truth from deep within......

you pulled me out of dungeons of darkness
and cared for me like a loving mistress
you heard my call when i was in distress
and on your answering i saw our oneness

your love for me, i really fear
i don't want to lose you dear
for even the four corners of the earth
ring with your name from birth

your footsteps i've never ceased to follow
your heart was full of love, never hollow
from no one else i could borrow
a smile, a touch to carry on for tomorrow

'mesmerizing' is not the word
to describe you, a word i've never heard
your promise and warmth is all i need
to go on with life, to others, paying no heed

the stare you give makes me frail
my mission on earth at times i fail
to live a life with you in harmony
i don't want to utter a word of destiny

the way we arrange ourselves together
at times, makes me wonder
the world is small, round and new
and to me so are you

nature has to go its way
and we have to die someday
but anytime you need me just call
i'll be there during a fall

call me by name
or call me your way, oh dame
for to your call if i'm not answering
i'll be waiting for you, oh please come running